Roosters

Josh and I went to the Pearl Harbor Memorial one afternoon.

But I know as glorious as Hawaii was, and as much fun as Drew would have had there with us, where he is even more glorious and fun. All that Molly loved, the awe and joy she felt, is a mere shadow of what he IS experiencing right now.  It’s really mind-blowing, isn’t it?  And those thoughts are what didn’t let the longing, the heartache of his absence, ruin our trip by distracting me from the present.

And maybe Drew really was with us in Hawaii after all…

I use voice text a lot. As much as I talk and as slow as I text, its so much easier for me to communicate. But, as anyone who uses voice text a lot knows, it messes up words sometimes (a lot of the time if you talk fast like me). You have to go back and correct a lot. During treatment, as a friend would ask for updates, I’d tell her how “Drewster” was doing. Well, voice text always transcribed it as “rooster”. I missed it enough times that I stopped correcting it, and my friend and I lovingly referred to Drew as “Rooster” from then on out. Its kind of our thing, our inside joke that no one else really knows about.

Flash forward to now. If you’ve ever been to Hawaii, and the island of Kauai in particular, you know there are chickens running loose all over. We saw our first one as we walked out of the airport, right by baggage claim. 

On the plane ride home, I was texting a different friend about the chickens, and casually called them roosters–since many of them were indeed roosters and they were the most note worthy since they were the biggest and loudest. And in that moment it hit me–the symbolism, the connection. Of course! Roosters. I couldn’t help but tear up when I saw it looking back. They were there with me the whole time–from start to finish. With me on the beach, and in the maze at the pineapple plantation. Along all the roadsides and by the pool at the first resort. I got goosebumps when I thought of all the times during the trip that a rooster was a part of the memory, butting his way in.

Now I know chickens have been running loose on Kauai for a long time. And they are around everyone whether they have a connection to them or not. But I DO have a connection, a “thing” with them. A rooster means something to me, and it’s not just a coincidence they were always around me. I don’t know what to believe about signs from Heaven, but the moment it “dawned on me” about the roosters, I know it was the Lord’s whisper to me. His gentle reminders, His comforting grace. Through wild roosters…God’s funny sometimes! Reminding me that Drew’s still with me. Wherever I go on earth–even across the ocean to Hawaii–he’ll always right there with me somehow, trotting along and bobbing his head.

I left Hawaii so thankful. Thankful for my parent’s gift to us in the trip. Thankful for all we were able to see, do, and eat! Thankful for the time with family, the memories made. Thankful for the tastes of Heaven we got as we saw, felt and touched an Earthy paradise. And thankful, even if it still hurt not to have both my babies with me, that my Drew gets to be in a place that’s even more amazing than Hawaii…