Drawing from Drew

In case you didn’t know, Grasping Joy is here! The publication date has past, meaning the book is “released”, I’m officially a published author. In this first week people are asking how it feels. Am I so excited? It’s funny how it’s been hard to answer. More like, hard to put into words how it…

One of the first things my publisher and I worked on together was designing the cover. The designer and I had a meeting where we got to know each other, and I shared about Grasping Joy. She hadn’t read it on purpose, not wanting to come into the design meeting with any pre-conceived ideas. Instead,…

” The Drew we knew was fading each day. “My bum bum hurt, Mom. Bum bum huuurt!” Hearing his weak voice say this over and over broke my heart. “I know, Bobo. It’s going to be okay.” We could assume that he had sores in his digestive tract. These sores are like a canker sore,…

Violence and tragedy seem to be bombarding us. Whether it’s the school shootings that have taken place since the beginning of fall, or the random act of violence in North Carolina a few weeks ago. Even before that, the flooding in Texas that swept away so many lives, young and old. And obviously the assassinations…

My April Fools baby would be 11 years old today. It’s the 9th time we’ve celebrated Drew’s birthday without him. The more time that goes by, the more tragic it seems that he only lived for less than 3 years. Each year that passes reminds me just how short his life really was. Watching Molly…

“Ahhh…we’re going to miss this someday!” Josh says on our after-work walk almost every day lately.  All week it’s been beautiful weather. Highs in the 60s, and next week, we’re supposed to reach into the low 70s! Sunny, the fruit trees are starting to bud, the grass is green–it’s picture-perfect by most standards, especially in…

We all were moving the pedals on our bikes and looking out the window. It was Friday morning spin, what has become one of my regular classes. The cycling room has floor to ceiling windows looking out into the parking lot in front of the gym. I find welcome distraction from the strenuous work of…

I lined up the last nail along the outline and hammered it in. Tearing the paper off from around the nails, the state emerged. Long and narrow, but with more bumps and curves than the last one of these I made, I noted. That was a while ago, though, and I had to remember how…

We walked along the path still lined with snow up to General Grant. Tall, broad, and towering above all of us at 268 feet tall, with a forty-foot maximum diameter. Its estimated age is 1,700 years old. This magnificent tree is the second largest in the world. Josh, Molly, and I stood under the giant…

The sign out front of the house is somehow the hardest part. You’d think it would be the least of the things involved with moving that gets to you. But that sign up is a constant reminder that this is real, it’s happening.                        …

  I turned down the long drive and surveyed the situation. A new school means a new drop off lane to navigate and attempt to get through without delay. Molly had her new sage-green backpack in her lap, ready to put on when we got to the front of the line. The outfit she’d picked…

Well, after 16 months of work–some weeks more intensely than others–I finished the first draft of the book. I printed two copies, one to work with and one as a keepsake. There is a possibility that it’ll change, but I really like the title. Josh actually suggested it when we were discussing how Choosing Joy…

It’s November 1st, 2016. I’ve been diligently writing Drew’s story since school started last year, and I’ve made it this far, to this day.                                                           I am ten months into the story that has included some tough weeks. Weeks where I…

  Tomorrow, my Drew would have been eight years old.  He would have been, if he hadn’t died before he even had the chance to turn three. We’ve marked Drew’s birthday five times now without him. Each time, it has been hard.  His birthday is harder for me than his Glory day. I think it’s…

  Five years. What can I say five years out that hasn’t already been said? Maybe nothing, I know I’ve already said a lot.  There may be nothing new, but maybe that’s the story. Nothing is new, but all the same things are still true.  Since August I’ve been returning to 2016 and our journey…

Fall in Colorado has been absolutely breathtaking. Most days the weather has been the perfect balance: cool mornings in 40s, sunshine and 70s by the afternoon. As typical, it’s been very dry too–I can’t remember the last time we’ve had a good rain. But snow has fallen in the mountains, however, and the white peaks…

In June, after we’d gotten back from Disney World, Molly and I rode our bikes down to the post office to get our mail. We stopped at a park on the way back home.  As I stood there watching Molly climb up the tower and go down the slide, I was in a bit of…

 A set of pictures came up in my Facebook memories this week. Molly and Drew, reading a book together, my caption explaining that after breakfast, I found them like this in Molly’s room.  The joy, the love, between big sister and little brother jumped right out of the photos and into my heart.     Those…

Hoo-hoo, hooo!  The dove is a bird that I wasn’t used to seeing all that often just flying around in the wild back in the Midwest. But in our part of Colorado at least, they’re everywhere! Their unique call we noticed right away last summer as we spent the first few nights on our patio,…

January 19th, 2017.  The day my Drew, died.  In the last four years, some of the details of that day have faded.  I couldn’t tell you the exact time things happened, but I will never forget the moment when his hand in mine, stopped feeling alive. I don’t know exactly what the stats were on…